still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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