wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Did I show you my penis last night?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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