the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
