I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
