upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
