all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
