Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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