I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
