It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
