I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
