Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
