Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just google imaged poop.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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