Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
