she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just forgot I was standing up.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
