Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
