youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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