Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
