I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
