I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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