bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
