He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
