You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
