Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
