nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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