I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
being pregnant is like rehab
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
