turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
