I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
