Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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