fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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