i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
