He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
