Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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