do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
