just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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