There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
