so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
