I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize