I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
