Christians are straight up FREAKS
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
