sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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