So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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