I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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