So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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