You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
