They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
