BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
