clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
