Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
