i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
