just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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