a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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